Saturday, November 22, 2008
hais.
what a week being for me bah?
just one weeek only!
one night!
my life totally changes from me.
being drag away the things.
i lost my most love one.
i failed.
past two months,
two months!
initially i thought like i fought so hard for me and her.
thought i could get her out of the fear.
the worst scary moments of her life.
yet i didnt do enough for her.
she really changed me alot this few months.
especially the way i think, be stronger.
she changed my attitude also.
she once ask me, do you think you changed?
i say yes bah. cause i want her feel my sincerly towards her.
i dont want her been fooled anymore.
she ask me before.
if we cannot love in future, how?
i say i wont move on.
i continue secretly to love her at the back.
give her support all the way.
thats the way i am.
in two weeks she say 3 times towards me.
shall we be friends?
i try hard to save her back.
not to let her leave me.
last sunday, she finally left me.
she texted me say.
she have decided not to move on with me.
and her decision is firm this time round.
she say she could'not sacrifice for me now.
can't commit in me.
she have to be cruel to me for the sake of us?
hais . i really dont know!
she dont want us progress any further anymore.
there wont be any chance already.
yesterday talked to her online.
*It's just, i don feel that i love you. Even these days, when i didn talk to you, i didn miss you. I don know, i just don want to hurt you. I scare i'll hurt you more. I don know it's, like or love, i don know. So, i don wanna further our relationship. I scare i'll hurt you more in the end okay?*
she told me this.
cause a guy was after her befor me.
she decided move on with me already cause i told her so much.
how much i wanted her i needed her in my life.
she already given me a chance for me.
but, that night changed her mind?
that guy explained to her dont know what thing.
and she hear from friends that i flirt around? hais.
so she changed her mind.
isit cause she scare soft-hearted thats why giving me a chance?
what to do oh?
he come eariler then me.
im the later one.
hais.
she say she cannot be greedy now.
so her decision final now.
she wont be with me. she move on.
all these while i tried so hard to make us love.
the effort i put in, all gone out of a sudden.
i really love her so much to the point i can do anything for her.
the december trip to msia i already plan so much.
it wont happened bah.
she say leave everything to fate for now. hmm.
seriously i dont care how other people see me as a person.
i hope i can be strong and fight on.
til the day you back to me bah.
i will try my fully and give you the best.
even it takes me forever.
i continue fight on til the day im in my coffin.
the decision i made is to fight on and put in more effort to get you back.
i just love you baby.
i still believe in us.
we will love!
I can't find my soul, any shadow ;
2:24 PM
